David, a management executive, has on his doctor's orders, to take part in some form of sporting activity. David decides to play tennis.
After a few weeks Shiela, his secretary asks him how he's doing.
'It's going very well, thanks,' David answers. 'When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me, my brain immediately says: 'To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!'
'Really? What happens then?' Shiela enquires of David, in some awe.
'Then my body says, 'Who? Me? You must be kidding.'
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Monday, 27 April 2009
Bali casts its magic on me.
I went back to 1931 for the last one week in a place that is right next to paradise. I was in Bali with my wife to celebrate my 35th birthday as well as our 7th wedding anniversary in the Island of Gods. Balinese have their own calendar and this year in their calendar is 1931.
We both were fascinated by the temples, culture, religion, practice of ceremonies, dance, art, offerings to gods, love of the people etc. This magnificent piece of land that has embraced Hinduism, refreshed our minds on our religion unlike our home country, India, the birth place of Hinduism where the world’s oldest religion has become a victim of modernization. It is indeed very rare to come across a public performance of a dance or a skit based on greatest Hindu epics Ramayana and Mahabharata in India currently whereas one can watch them on a daily basis in Bali not for touristy reasons but purely as part of the Balinese lifestyle. A lifestyle that is tantamount with Hindu ceremonies.
Everywhere around Bali, the sight of women carrying rice-and-flower offerings on banana leaves was a common sight. Offerings are made twice daily to the gods of the house and to the gods honored in small shrines everywhere. The word Bali, dating from the 9th century, means offering.
We watched the Kecak dance atop a hill overlooking the magnificient Indian Ocean with the incredible view of the sunset. Kecak is one of the most famous of Balinese dances. It is unusual because it has no musical accompaniment like any other dance performance. The rhythm of the dance is produced by the chanting of 'monkey' chorus. It’s the forty or so men in the checkered pants that make Kecak a fascinating performance to watch.
They are both the choir and the props, providing the music for the story in a series of constant vocal chants that change with the mood of the actors. They don't sit still, either, they wave their arms to simulate fire, and reposition themselves around the stage to represent wind and fire, prison cells, and unseen hand of protection from the gods.
The dance is played in five acts and lasts roughly an hour. The plot is taken from the Hindu epic Ramayana, which tells the story of Prince Rama and his rescue of Princess Sita, who gets kidnapped by the evil King of Lanka, Rahwana. With the help of Hanuman, the white monkey and his force, Rama rescues his wife and defeats the evil Rahwana.
As we rode around the island on a motorbike, all we saw to our both sides was green patches of paddy fields, the planted rice terraces, the rice harvesters beating the grains off the stalks, duck shepherds walking their flocks to the fields, and water buffaloes turning over the empty fields. This lush, tropical island is full of visual delights, such as red-flowering banana plants or white-petaled trees. Though the Balinese are not well-to-do, they appeared to enjoy a good basic diet of rice, soybeans, and vegetables, with occasional animal protein. They live a life relatively free of unwanted western-style stress, but seasoned by the sweat of laborious work in the rice fields.
A few leisure visits to Balinese Art Galleries in Ubud, Bali made me believe that every Balinese is an artist. To perform or create art is something specially gifted to them by their gods. I was left doubtless that every child grows up with a sense of dance, art or crafts of some kind.
If you are planning a holiday in tropical island paradise, just consider Bali, an island that Jawaharlal Nehru once famously described as "the morning of the world". Bali is truly special and rare is the traveler who returns home untouched by its magic, especially the pervasive spirituality and compelling human bonds that the Balinese exhibit.
We both were fascinated by the temples, culture, religion, practice of ceremonies, dance, art, offerings to gods, love of the people etc. This magnificent piece of land that has embraced Hinduism, refreshed our minds on our religion unlike our home country, India, the birth place of Hinduism where the world’s oldest religion has become a victim of modernization. It is indeed very rare to come across a public performance of a dance or a skit based on greatest Hindu epics Ramayana and Mahabharata in India currently whereas one can watch them on a daily basis in Bali not for touristy reasons but purely as part of the Balinese lifestyle. A lifestyle that is tantamount with Hindu ceremonies.
Everywhere around Bali, the sight of women carrying rice-and-flower offerings on banana leaves was a common sight. Offerings are made twice daily to the gods of the house and to the gods honored in small shrines everywhere. The word Bali, dating from the 9th century, means offering.
We watched the Kecak dance atop a hill overlooking the magnificient Indian Ocean with the incredible view of the sunset. Kecak is one of the most famous of Balinese dances. It is unusual because it has no musical accompaniment like any other dance performance. The rhythm of the dance is produced by the chanting of 'monkey' chorus. It’s the forty or so men in the checkered pants that make Kecak a fascinating performance to watch.
They are both the choir and the props, providing the music for the story in a series of constant vocal chants that change with the mood of the actors. They don't sit still, either, they wave their arms to simulate fire, and reposition themselves around the stage to represent wind and fire, prison cells, and unseen hand of protection from the gods.
The dance is played in five acts and lasts roughly an hour. The plot is taken from the Hindu epic Ramayana, which tells the story of Prince Rama and his rescue of Princess Sita, who gets kidnapped by the evil King of Lanka, Rahwana. With the help of Hanuman, the white monkey and his force, Rama rescues his wife and defeats the evil Rahwana.
As we rode around the island on a motorbike, all we saw to our both sides was green patches of paddy fields, the planted rice terraces, the rice harvesters beating the grains off the stalks, duck shepherds walking their flocks to the fields, and water buffaloes turning over the empty fields. This lush, tropical island is full of visual delights, such as red-flowering banana plants or white-petaled trees. Though the Balinese are not well-to-do, they appeared to enjoy a good basic diet of rice, soybeans, and vegetables, with occasional animal protein. They live a life relatively free of unwanted western-style stress, but seasoned by the sweat of laborious work in the rice fields.
A few leisure visits to Balinese Art Galleries in Ubud, Bali made me believe that every Balinese is an artist. To perform or create art is something specially gifted to them by their gods. I was left doubtless that every child grows up with a sense of dance, art or crafts of some kind.
If you are planning a holiday in tropical island paradise, just consider Bali, an island that Jawaharlal Nehru once famously described as "the morning of the world". Bali is truly special and rare is the traveler who returns home untouched by its magic, especially the pervasive spirituality and compelling human bonds that the Balinese exhibit.
Friday, 24 April 2009
Thursday, 16 April 2009
KP Breaks The Wall!
IPL T20 fever has started again with just another couple of days before the second edition of the most sought after cricket tournament gets under way. It’s funny that it is still addressed as Indian Premier League even though the tournament is moved to South Africa. As a Bangalorean, I will be supporting Bangalore Royal Challengers even though the team performed badly in the first edition. There are changes in the team this time with the maverick Kevin Pietersen being roped in as Captain. Rahul Dravid has lost captaincy following the team’s dismal performance during the last chapter. Ray Jennings has been appointed as Coach.
Enter Pietersen, a man who takes hard options and knows he's good. It makes him gloriously un-English. The task he is about to undertake with the Bangalore Royal Challengers just about sums him up.
Think about it for a moment. Pietersen is returning to a country where voluble sections of the crowd regard him as a traitor. He will be captaining two men - Jacques Kallis and Mark Boucher - who probably have their own views on his decision to leave South Africa. He will be playing for Ray Jennings, a coach who revels in his straight-talking toughness and for an owner - the whisky, airline and F1 magnate Vijay Mallya - whose expectations of success are such that last year he sacked his chief executive mid-tournament. He sure is going the football way.
There's more. Pietersen’s first game will be up against Shane Warne, who used to regard him as a close friend but now thinks him "weird" and will do everything he possibly can to make him look a dummy. His second game is against Andrew Flintoff, the man who denies having anything to do with his downfall as England captain. There is no doubt that cricket followers in South Africa would want Pietersen to fail miserably.
With so much against him much before the start, Pietersen certainly has a tough road ahead. He is a tough bloke and quite capable of turning the tide to his favour and all we can hope is that he does that quickly and ensures he not only proves to Vijay Mallya but to ECB Selectors also. The success will do a world of good to him when he locks his horns against Aussies for The Ashes.
Good luck Kev.
Enter Pietersen, a man who takes hard options and knows he's good. It makes him gloriously un-English. The task he is about to undertake with the Bangalore Royal Challengers just about sums him up.
Think about it for a moment. Pietersen is returning to a country where voluble sections of the crowd regard him as a traitor. He will be captaining two men - Jacques Kallis and Mark Boucher - who probably have their own views on his decision to leave South Africa. He will be playing for Ray Jennings, a coach who revels in his straight-talking toughness and for an owner - the whisky, airline and F1 magnate Vijay Mallya - whose expectations of success are such that last year he sacked his chief executive mid-tournament. He sure is going the football way.
There's more. Pietersen’s first game will be up against Shane Warne, who used to regard him as a close friend but now thinks him "weird" and will do everything he possibly can to make him look a dummy. His second game is against Andrew Flintoff, the man who denies having anything to do with his downfall as England captain. There is no doubt that cricket followers in South Africa would want Pietersen to fail miserably.
With so much against him much before the start, Pietersen certainly has a tough road ahead. He is a tough bloke and quite capable of turning the tide to his favour and all we can hope is that he does that quickly and ensures he not only proves to Vijay Mallya but to ECB Selectors also. The success will do a world of good to him when he locks his horns against Aussies for The Ashes.
Good luck Kev.
Sunday, 12 April 2009
Friday, 10 April 2009
The Corridor of Uncertainty
Sometimes life is like a game of cricket. Imagine you are batting and facing a bowler who is constantly pitching the ball in the corridor of uncertainty. You get caught between two minds whether to play at it or leave it. Can you keep letting it go? If you do, when will you score? The point is, if you are playing a test match, time is of no essence, but if you are playing an ODI or a T20 match, you have to start scoring from the word GO. Right?
That is the question on everyone’s mind who is thinking of investing in real estate now as they are caught between whether to invest or not to invest in property sector which has fallen drastically owing to global economic downturn. Is this the right time to buy your dream home or wait for some more time for the further fall? Will it fall further? If it falls, by how much will it fall? These are the questions that are troubling people and there seems no one is in a position to answer these questions convincingly.
This is like waiting for a bowler to bowl you a lolly pop or a fuller delivery on the slot for you to drive handsomely for that much needed boundary. Can you anticipate when you get that ball while batting? The answer is a simple NO.
So rather than waiting for the bowler to bowl you a loosener, the trick lies in taking some calculated chances by going for an aerial shot to clear the mid fielders so your opposite captain moves one of his mid fielders back to that scoring spot to open your area of your strength in the mid field or vice versa. Not all the times the trick works but then in real life too, not all the time your speculation comes true.
The market has fallen by a good 20 - 25% everywhere and I think rather than waiting further, people should go ahead with their investment plans by taking some chances. Because it’s a weak bowler who is bowling at you currently and it’s always good to score runs off a weak bowler before your opposite captain sends in his spearhead. If there is another weak bowler coming in next then it gives you some lead time to read the wicket before you take off.
So If I am an investor now, I will take some time to read the wicket and go with my chances. I say this because I see another ordinary bowler coming at me soon. May be this helps me in scoring as many runs as I want at the end of the game. Because the more runs I get on scoreboard, better is my chances of winning.
I might be wrong. How about you? Will you be taking similar chances?
That is the question on everyone’s mind who is thinking of investing in real estate now as they are caught between whether to invest or not to invest in property sector which has fallen drastically owing to global economic downturn. Is this the right time to buy your dream home or wait for some more time for the further fall? Will it fall further? If it falls, by how much will it fall? These are the questions that are troubling people and there seems no one is in a position to answer these questions convincingly.
This is like waiting for a bowler to bowl you a lolly pop or a fuller delivery on the slot for you to drive handsomely for that much needed boundary. Can you anticipate when you get that ball while batting? The answer is a simple NO.
So rather than waiting for the bowler to bowl you a loosener, the trick lies in taking some calculated chances by going for an aerial shot to clear the mid fielders so your opposite captain moves one of his mid fielders back to that scoring spot to open your area of your strength in the mid field or vice versa. Not all the times the trick works but then in real life too, not all the time your speculation comes true.
The market has fallen by a good 20 - 25% everywhere and I think rather than waiting further, people should go ahead with their investment plans by taking some chances. Because it’s a weak bowler who is bowling at you currently and it’s always good to score runs off a weak bowler before your opposite captain sends in his spearhead. If there is another weak bowler coming in next then it gives you some lead time to read the wicket before you take off.
So If I am an investor now, I will take some time to read the wicket and go with my chances. I say this because I see another ordinary bowler coming at me soon. May be this helps me in scoring as many runs as I want at the end of the game. Because the more runs I get on scoreboard, better is my chances of winning.
I might be wrong. How about you? Will you be taking similar chances?
Thursday, 9 April 2009
Hung Over? Try These Techniques
The ancient Scottish cure for a whisky hangover is the Highland Fling. If you’re not feeling too sick, heat a pint of buttermilk and stir in a tablespoon of cornflower. Then season with salt and pepper.
Scuba divers claim crawling out of bed and taking a blast from an oxygen tank does a wonderful job of blowing away cobwebs. The idea is that increased oxygen speeds up the metabolism, which in turn increases the speed of breaking down poisons.
A more holistic approach to curing headaches is pinching your hand between your thumb and forefinger. That part of the hand is a nerve junction and an acupressure point which is supposed to release tension in the head neck. The advice is to pinch quite hard for thirty seconds every five minutes until the headache subsides.
Some Puerto Ricans rub a slice of lemon or lime in the armpit of their drinking arm before they start drinking to stop a hangover before it starts. Apparently, lemon prevents dehydration and therefore headaches because it helps retain fluid.
In Outer Mongolia, a pair of pickled sheeps eyes in tomato juice is thought to be the answer to a thumping head and cattle ropers in the Old West drank tea brewed from rabbit droppings.
In Ancient Rome, party-goers breakfasted on sheep lungs and two owl eggs and in ancient Greece the cure was deep-fried canaries.
In Haiti, those hit with a hangover make a voodoo doll from the bottle of alcohol which caused the hangover in the first place. They recommend sticking 13 black pins in the wine bottle's cork.
A popular remedy not recommended for pregnant women or the elderly is the Prairie Oyster. It includes a whole raw egg and Worcestershire sauce, seasoned with salt and pepper. The aim is to swallow the concoction in one gulp without breaking the yolk.
The Japanese recommend umeboshi pickled plums to relieve hangovers. The advice is to bite of a quarter of the plum and allow it to dissolve in your mouth. But for a stronger hangover, one whole plum is recommended, which takes about half an hour to dissolve. Umeboshi contains pyric acid, which is supposed to restore the stomach to good health.
Scuba divers claim crawling out of bed and taking a blast from an oxygen tank does a wonderful job of blowing away cobwebs. The idea is that increased oxygen speeds up the metabolism, which in turn increases the speed of breaking down poisons.
A more holistic approach to curing headaches is pinching your hand between your thumb and forefinger. That part of the hand is a nerve junction and an acupressure point which is supposed to release tension in the head neck. The advice is to pinch quite hard for thirty seconds every five minutes until the headache subsides.
Some Puerto Ricans rub a slice of lemon or lime in the armpit of their drinking arm before they start drinking to stop a hangover before it starts. Apparently, lemon prevents dehydration and therefore headaches because it helps retain fluid.
In Outer Mongolia, a pair of pickled sheeps eyes in tomato juice is thought to be the answer to a thumping head and cattle ropers in the Old West drank tea brewed from rabbit droppings.
In Ancient Rome, party-goers breakfasted on sheep lungs and two owl eggs and in ancient Greece the cure was deep-fried canaries.
In Haiti, those hit with a hangover make a voodoo doll from the bottle of alcohol which caused the hangover in the first place. They recommend sticking 13 black pins in the wine bottle's cork.
A popular remedy not recommended for pregnant women or the elderly is the Prairie Oyster. It includes a whole raw egg and Worcestershire sauce, seasoned with salt and pepper. The aim is to swallow the concoction in one gulp without breaking the yolk.
The Japanese recommend umeboshi pickled plums to relieve hangovers. The advice is to bite of a quarter of the plum and allow it to dissolve in your mouth. But for a stronger hangover, one whole plum is recommended, which takes about half an hour to dissolve. Umeboshi contains pyric acid, which is supposed to restore the stomach to good health.
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
Shah Rukh Khan in a spot of bother
What do Sunil Gavaskar, Saurav Ganguly, Shane Warne, Stephen Fleming and Glen McGrath have in common?
Answer: Common Sense. They all dislike John Buchanan’s ideas and their disliking makes complete sense to me.
Perhaps the only man who has failed to understand what John Buchanan, Kolkata Knight Rider’s coach is upto is their owner Shah Rukh Khan. He publicly reacted to Sunil Gavaskar’s comments on John Buchanan and his idea of having multiple captains. Shah Rukh Khan failed to note that there was nothing wrong in what Sunil Gavaskar wrote. Each word in that article made complete sense to anyone who has followed John Buchanan. By reacting, Shah Rukh Khan has jumped the gun and has landed in a soft spot.
Sooner Shah Rukh Khan realizes that this is a team breaking theory from John Buchanan; the better it is for his team, his hard earned money as well as his own acting career. He should simply go ahead and appoint Saurav Ganguly as Captain of KKR for the entire season without toying with the idea of having multiple captains as suggested by John Buchanan. I say this helps Shah Rukh Khan’s acting career because if he goes with the idea, ignores Saurav Ganguly and in the event KKR loses badly, Shah Rukh Khan can rest assured that his movie releases would be affected in entire West Bengal state.
For Shah Rukh Khan, KKR is a passionate investment as he loves Cricket. He should realize that his passion or hobby should not come in way of his core competencies which are his acting and producing movies. If his day job gets affected, he will allow his friends in the industry to laugh at his expense. You all know who I am talking about. Mr. Gavaskar will never hesitate in coming back hard at Shah Rukh if KKR loses because of John’s rubbish ideas. Does he want all these?
Shane Warne, legendary spin doctor late last year said Buchanan was a "goose" and his "verbal diarrhoea" epitomized a worrying big-headed culture. He was spot on as it was the arrogance which brought once mighty Australian team tumbling down to ground. There is a lesson here for Shah Rukh Khan to learn.
“I have played under Buchanan and I know he has a lot of theories, may be this is another one. I don’t know why he (Buchanan) has come up with this idea. I like a single captain idea” said the legendary Glen McGrath yesterday and he certainly knows what he is talking.
Mr. Khan, are you listening?
Answer: Common Sense. They all dislike John Buchanan’s ideas and their disliking makes complete sense to me.
Perhaps the only man who has failed to understand what John Buchanan, Kolkata Knight Rider’s coach is upto is their owner Shah Rukh Khan. He publicly reacted to Sunil Gavaskar’s comments on John Buchanan and his idea of having multiple captains. Shah Rukh Khan failed to note that there was nothing wrong in what Sunil Gavaskar wrote. Each word in that article made complete sense to anyone who has followed John Buchanan. By reacting, Shah Rukh Khan has jumped the gun and has landed in a soft spot.
Sooner Shah Rukh Khan realizes that this is a team breaking theory from John Buchanan; the better it is for his team, his hard earned money as well as his own acting career. He should simply go ahead and appoint Saurav Ganguly as Captain of KKR for the entire season without toying with the idea of having multiple captains as suggested by John Buchanan. I say this helps Shah Rukh Khan’s acting career because if he goes with the idea, ignores Saurav Ganguly and in the event KKR loses badly, Shah Rukh Khan can rest assured that his movie releases would be affected in entire West Bengal state.
For Shah Rukh Khan, KKR is a passionate investment as he loves Cricket. He should realize that his passion or hobby should not come in way of his core competencies which are his acting and producing movies. If his day job gets affected, he will allow his friends in the industry to laugh at his expense. You all know who I am talking about. Mr. Gavaskar will never hesitate in coming back hard at Shah Rukh if KKR loses because of John’s rubbish ideas. Does he want all these?
Shane Warne, legendary spin doctor late last year said Buchanan was a "goose" and his "verbal diarrhoea" epitomized a worrying big-headed culture. He was spot on as it was the arrogance which brought once mighty Australian team tumbling down to ground. There is a lesson here for Shah Rukh Khan to learn.
“I have played under Buchanan and I know he has a lot of theories, may be this is another one. I don’t know why he (Buchanan) has come up with this idea. I like a single captain idea” said the legendary Glen McGrath yesterday and he certainly knows what he is talking.
Mr. Khan, are you listening?
Monday, 6 April 2009
Mistakes Captains Do
I hate to watch one sided test matches especially if it is a decider. They are such waste of time. The current third test between NZ and India is one such match. This test was a must win game for NZ to level the series and to save from handing India its first series win in NZ after 41 years. The way the match is progressing, NZ doesn’t have any chances of drawing the match forget leveling the series. The only man responsible for the state at which the NZ team has landed in this match is their captain Daniel Vettori.
He won the toss and elected to field. Why did he do that? What was he thinking? The wicket was not a green top and as soon as India Captain MS Dhoni and his mates saw the wicket during their practice session before the start of the game, all they wanted to do was to bat first. MS Dhoni couldn't believe his luck to see a brown wicket and must have danced along with his players in the dressing room on Vettori’s expense when Vettori decided to field first after winning the toss.
In test cricket, if you bat first you get two chances. If you're dismissed cheaply, you still have the chance to put pressure on the opposition by bowling well and setting a defensive field. These two factors can lead to wickets falling.
Why did Vettori opt for an extra seamer when he had a world class spinner in Jeetan Patel? He didn’t have to go in for an additional seamer when he had Jesse Ryder at his disposal who has proved that he can bowl and take wickets.
A captain can’t afford to make such silly club level mistakes when his team is up against a hungry side like India with each one of its players out there to prove something and certainly not against a team with such strong batting line up especially when your back is against the wall.
The wicket proved a home away from home for the Indians. Batsmen and the tail enders piled on runs to set a decent first innings total. For Vettori, mistakes proved too costly, nothing went right in this test match with his batsmen failing miserably and his bowlers going for runs. Daniel Vettori is all set to enter into record books by becoming the first black caps captain to lose a test series against India after a little more than four decades. A record he wouldn’t have expected in his wildest dreams in such an illustrious career.
All one can say to Vettori now is Tough luck mate!
He won the toss and elected to field. Why did he do that? What was he thinking? The wicket was not a green top and as soon as India Captain MS Dhoni and his mates saw the wicket during their practice session before the start of the game, all they wanted to do was to bat first. MS Dhoni couldn't believe his luck to see a brown wicket and must have danced along with his players in the dressing room on Vettori’s expense when Vettori decided to field first after winning the toss.
In test cricket, if you bat first you get two chances. If you're dismissed cheaply, you still have the chance to put pressure on the opposition by bowling well and setting a defensive field. These two factors can lead to wickets falling.
Why did Vettori opt for an extra seamer when he had a world class spinner in Jeetan Patel? He didn’t have to go in for an additional seamer when he had Jesse Ryder at his disposal who has proved that he can bowl and take wickets.
A captain can’t afford to make such silly club level mistakes when his team is up against a hungry side like India with each one of its players out there to prove something and certainly not against a team with such strong batting line up especially when your back is against the wall.
The wicket proved a home away from home for the Indians. Batsmen and the tail enders piled on runs to set a decent first innings total. For Vettori, mistakes proved too costly, nothing went right in this test match with his batsmen failing miserably and his bowlers going for runs. Daniel Vettori is all set to enter into record books by becoming the first black caps captain to lose a test series against India after a little more than four decades. A record he wouldn’t have expected in his wildest dreams in such an illustrious career.
All one can say to Vettori now is Tough luck mate!
Friday, 3 April 2009
Was it G20 or T20 for Silvio Berlusconi?
The Queen became a super star when her highness put Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi in place after Mr. Berlusconi behaved like a T20 spectator during the photo shoot to mark the G20 summit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSUn_J__MUk
The footage shows the Queen gesturing in mild irritation at the Italian leader as she posed with President Barack Obama and other world leaders in the traditional "family" photograph at Buckingham Palace to mark the G20 summit.
As the photoshoot ends, Mr. Berlusconi is heard shouting: "Mr. Obama, Mr. Obama," prompting the Queen to turn round, sigh and raise her arms in mock frustration, before saying: "What is it? Why does he have to shout?"
Within minutes, the Queen's burst of annoyance - which came despite an attempt by Mr. Obama to silence Mr. Berlusconi by responding in a low voice - had become a worldwide hit after being posted on Italy's YouTube site.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSUn_J__MUk
The footage shows the Queen gesturing in mild irritation at the Italian leader as she posed with President Barack Obama and other world leaders in the traditional "family" photograph at Buckingham Palace to mark the G20 summit.
As the photoshoot ends, Mr. Berlusconi is heard shouting: "Mr. Obama, Mr. Obama," prompting the Queen to turn round, sigh and raise her arms in mock frustration, before saying: "What is it? Why does he have to shout?"
Within minutes, the Queen's burst of annoyance - which came despite an attempt by Mr. Obama to silence Mr. Berlusconi by responding in a low voice - had become a worldwide hit after being posted on Italy's YouTube site.
Below Par?
After a particularly bad round of golf, Robert decided not to go to the nineteenth hole [the clubhouse bar] and started to go straight home.
As he was walking to the golf car park to get his Range Rover, a policeman stopped him and asked', Did you tee off on the seventeenth hole about twenty minutes ago?'
'Yes', Robert answered.
'Did you happen to slice your ball so that it went over the trees and out of bounds and completely off the golf course?'
'Yes, I did. How did you know?' Robert questioned.
'Well', said the policeman gravely', your golf ball flew out onto the main road and crashed through the windscreen of a BMW. The car driver lost control and crashed into six other cars and a fire engine. The fire engine was unable to reach the fire in time and the building burned down. Now, what do you intend to do about it?'
Robert thought it over very carefully and responded, I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.
Thursday, 2 April 2009
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
Cricket as taught to an American
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.
When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.
Point to Ponder: Lil wonder why Americans hate Cricket!
Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.
When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.
Point to Ponder: Lil wonder why Americans hate Cricket!
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